I love how when you give God a little, He gives you a lot in return.
This summer I have been trying to give more of my time to God. For me this has entailed doing a summer Cornerstone Bible Study on the attributes of God, trying to break down my idols and things that I put before the Lord, eliminating mindless activity (i.e. excessive facebook usage and movie-watching), and really seeking after the heart of my Savior. Not all have been successes by any means, but as always God reveals Himself and His mercy to me in whatever circumstance I find myself in, and always gives me more than what I gave Him.
More than anything I want to understand. I want to understand why Jesus had to go through what he did on the cross for my sins. I want to see it and be there and try to wrap my mind around it. I know that if I really understood it and believed it and clung to the truth of it, my life would look radically different. Although I believe it wholeheartedly, I really can't understand God's sacrifice for me to it's fullest extent, which can be frustrating. However, lately my inability to comprehend has been a comfort to me.
As I study and meditate on the attributes of God in an effort to know my Savior and Creator more, what I find is that I will never fully understand Him. But why would I want to? Yes, I want to know Him more and fall more in love with Him each day, but I have been feeling lately that I have been given the incredible opportunity to be a part of something much greater and more complex than what I am. Living solely for God and remembering why He created me has transformed my perspective to look more like it should, which is a lot less focused on myself.
I tend to put limits on God. I have mastered the technique of incorporating God into my life rather than leaving everything up to Him to guide me, while in the meantime trying to persuade myself and others that I have rendered to God complete control.
I am reading a Francis Chan book called Forgotten God. In it he says this:
"If you decide you want to do His will, there will be moments where you have to let go of the fear- when you have to release your grip of control on your life and decide to be led, come what may."
After reading that, I got it. I have to desire to do God's will no matter where it takes me. And sure, ask me that question now and I'll say a hundred times that I am willing to do whatever the Lord has in store for me. But am I really? What if He allows something really bad to happen to me...like what happened to Job? I am accustomed to God's blessings so much that I think they've become expected. I know in my heart that the Lord's will is perfect, and whatever He has in store for my life will be the best thing for me, but I am now coming to the point where I desperately need to release the little bit of control on my life that I have been withholding from God and really let Him totally transform my heart.
A song by Hillsong called Second Chance has a line that says "On you I throw my life, casting all my fears aside, how could greater love than this ever possibly exist?"
Right now I am learning that Christ is better and more beautiful than anything bad or uncomfortable that could ever happen to me. No greater love than His will ever exist, and He gave that love to me knowing my faults and shortcomings. It is really ridiculous that I am trying to maintain any kind of grip on my life rather than giving it all to the Almighty God. So, that is what I am doing- "throwing my life" on the One who gave it all for me and will never let me down. Easier said than done, but I am ok with admitting that I don't have it all figured out. For a change, I will say that I don't know it all. For a change, I will 100% try to live by the Spirit instead of referring to Him if I feel like I can't figure it out myself.
I have found a lot of comfort in Ephesians 1 because it talks a lot about God choosing us to represent Him and giving us His mercy because of His great love for us. I desperately want to live by those truths every minute of every day and be transformed by them even more than ever.
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
Ephesians 1:4-6
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Italy part 1: Florence
For spring break number two, we went to visit some of our dear friends who were studying abroad and living in an apartment in Florence, Italy. Some of us stayed there but not all of us because it would have been so crowded. I stayed in a hostel with 3 other girls, and the hostel owner Vito was a crack up. He kept texting me on my Spanish go phone all day long anticipating our arrival. We had to keep texting him different arrival times due to our inability to figure out how trenitalia (the train service in Italy) worked.
I absolutely had to be at the hostel by 4pm because that was my time to register for classes at UNC. And since I'm in the school of Journalism, the classes are really hard to get because everyone needs the same ones to graduate. So, I was feeling very stressed. We had actually flown into Bologna at 1:30, which is only a 1 hour train ride to Florence, so technically we should've been able to take the 2:00 train to Florence and be there in plenty of time. However, we ended up missing the 2:00 train. So, we thought "that's ok, we can take the 3:00 one and still make it," except NOT because the 3:00 train SOLD OUT to the people IN FRONT OF US IN LINE!! I almost cried. So we had to buy 4:00 tickets and I proceeded to have a panic attack.
As I was freaking out, I had the brilliant idea that we should just ask if there's room on the 3:00 train. A trenitalia guy told us that we could walk on if we didn't mind standing, so that is what we did, although I think that is illegal. Thank God no one checked our tickets and we got to Florence in plenty of time! I got to the hostel with a few minutes to spare, used Vito's laptop to register, and literally got every single class I needed. God is good!
Florence was awesome and it was so incredibly refreshing to see all my friends there! It was amazing to be able to experience their city and see first hand what they do on a day to day basis in Italy. The very first night, they cooked all kinds of delicious food for us, including little chicken paninis, cous cous, bean salsa, bruchetta, and so much more. I was stuffed by the end of it! After catching up with everyone, we all decided to go check out the Italian night life..which was very interesting to say the least. We went to some dance club place on their street thinking that we could just stay in our group and dance with each other. Little did we know, we got absolutely swarmed by Italians who wanted to talk to and dance with the Americans. It was so crowded and hot and a little scary being targeted like that, so we didn't last long there. It was kind of a shame because the music was good and we would have enjoyed it had we been not been attacked.
Cobb 255 REUNITED. classic.
The next day, we got up early and went to see the David statue, which I didn't expect to be so absolutely HUGE. It is so humongous. I was really impressed by it. The sculpture is so intricate and life-like and just really big; I can't even fathom how he did it. Mad props, Michelangelo!!
Later that day we climbed the tower of the Duomo and got to see some amazing views of Florence from way up high. We also went to the Arno and went to some markets. Then we went for gelato (of course), which in fact is the best in Italy. I had white chocolate and mango and it was delicious. It was one of many gelatos that I ate while in Italy. After relaxing a little bit, we got ready to go to dinner at this awesome place that I can't remember the name of, but it was cool because it was like a buffet of lots of different foods. They had a deal that if you buy a drink, you get to eat off the buffet for free, and that is what we all did. The food was awesome and the restaurant was all-together a cool experience.
Duomo:
Duomo:
at the Arno:
After dinner we went up to this lookout point that I also can't remember the name of, but it was gorgeous. We climbed and climbed to the top to encounter a breath-taking view of all of Florence. Great night!
The next day we took the train to Pisa, to see the leaning tower of course. Pisa is a cute and quaint town with really not much in it but the tower, but it was fun to walk around for the morning. The leaning tower is still leaning, in case anyone was wondering, and it really is surprising that it doesn't fall over. We took all the typical pictures holding it up and such, although it was pretty difficult because we had to stand on these little rounded columns to get the pictures to look right. Not as easy as it looks!
Side note: McDonalds in Italy has really awesome milkshakes for 1 euro.
That night we met back up with the Florence girls and went out to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant and I had some awesome lasagna. I can't explain how awesome it was to meet up with good friends in Europe after being apart for months. God blessed for sure! As for the Spain girls, it was off to Rome in the morning!
Everyone:
I absolutely had to be at the hostel by 4pm because that was my time to register for classes at UNC. And since I'm in the school of Journalism, the classes are really hard to get because everyone needs the same ones to graduate. So, I was feeling very stressed. We had actually flown into Bologna at 1:30, which is only a 1 hour train ride to Florence, so technically we should've been able to take the 2:00 train to Florence and be there in plenty of time. However, we ended up missing the 2:00 train. So, we thought "that's ok, we can take the 3:00 one and still make it," except NOT because the 3:00 train SOLD OUT to the people IN FRONT OF US IN LINE!! I almost cried. So we had to buy 4:00 tickets and I proceeded to have a panic attack.
As I was freaking out, I had the brilliant idea that we should just ask if there's room on the 3:00 train. A trenitalia guy told us that we could walk on if we didn't mind standing, so that is what we did, although I think that is illegal. Thank God no one checked our tickets and we got to Florence in plenty of time! I got to the hostel with a few minutes to spare, used Vito's laptop to register, and literally got every single class I needed. God is good!
Florence was awesome and it was so incredibly refreshing to see all my friends there! It was amazing to be able to experience their city and see first hand what they do on a day to day basis in Italy. The very first night, they cooked all kinds of delicious food for us, including little chicken paninis, cous cous, bean salsa, bruchetta, and so much more. I was stuffed by the end of it! After catching up with everyone, we all decided to go check out the Italian night life..which was very interesting to say the least. We went to some dance club place on their street thinking that we could just stay in our group and dance with each other. Little did we know, we got absolutely swarmed by Italians who wanted to talk to and dance with the Americans. It was so crowded and hot and a little scary being targeted like that, so we didn't last long there. It was kind of a shame because the music was good and we would have enjoyed it had we been not been attacked.
Cobb 255 REUNITED. classic.
The next day, we got up early and went to see the David statue, which I didn't expect to be so absolutely HUGE. It is so humongous. I was really impressed by it. The sculpture is so intricate and life-like and just really big; I can't even fathom how he did it. Mad props, Michelangelo!!
Later that day we climbed the tower of the Duomo and got to see some amazing views of Florence from way up high. We also went to the Arno and went to some markets. Then we went for gelato (of course), which in fact is the best in Italy. I had white chocolate and mango and it was delicious. It was one of many gelatos that I ate while in Italy. After relaxing a little bit, we got ready to go to dinner at this awesome place that I can't remember the name of, but it was cool because it was like a buffet of lots of different foods. They had a deal that if you buy a drink, you get to eat off the buffet for free, and that is what we all did. The food was awesome and the restaurant was all-together a cool experience.
Duomo:
Duomo:
at the Arno:
After dinner we went up to this lookout point that I also can't remember the name of, but it was gorgeous. We climbed and climbed to the top to encounter a breath-taking view of all of Florence. Great night!
The next day we took the train to Pisa, to see the leaning tower of course. Pisa is a cute and quaint town with really not much in it but the tower, but it was fun to walk around for the morning. The leaning tower is still leaning, in case anyone was wondering, and it really is surprising that it doesn't fall over. We took all the typical pictures holding it up and such, although it was pretty difficult because we had to stand on these little rounded columns to get the pictures to look right. Not as easy as it looks!
Side note: McDonalds in Italy has really awesome milkshakes for 1 euro.
That night we met back up with the Florence girls and went out to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant and I had some awesome lasagna. I can't explain how awesome it was to meet up with good friends in Europe after being apart for months. God blessed for sure! As for the Spain girls, it was off to Rome in the morning!
Everyone:
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